Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
