After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
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Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
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Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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