i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
