i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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