is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ok first of all what the fuck
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
