dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
