I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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