Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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