I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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