forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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