Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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