At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
last night I used snow as a chaser
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