Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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