i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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