How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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