He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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