apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
