Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize