i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
