Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
