eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
