Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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