He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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