so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
