she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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