I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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