Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
