If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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