yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
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i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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