I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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