worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
