i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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