Fuck appropriateness.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
