I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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