Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
