So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
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And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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