Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
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Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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