Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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