I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
