he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
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I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize