i may or may not be watching the land before time
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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