Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
