i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
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since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
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Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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