Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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