My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
