You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
