is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
