He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize