Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
