Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
