i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
