We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
