Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.

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(916): View more from California

when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?

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(540): View more from Virginia

my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed

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(512): View more from Texas

I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."

(512): View more from Texas

No more tequila EVER.

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(760): View more from California

he just fucked me for my cheese.

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