Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.

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  (203): Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/gcqa
  Replies (24) Good night (603) Bad night (2688)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  put a dollar in it?

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  (319): umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do (1-319): put a dollar in it? http://tfl.nu/6gdy
  Replies (14) Good night (1216) Bad night (4540)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Please don't use social media to get back at me.

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  (646): Please don't use social media to get back at me. http://tfl.nu/bgjj
  Replies (11) Good night (621) Bad night (2833)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just took adderol and chased it w dog water

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  (781): she just took adderol and chased it w dog water http://tfl.nu/pwol
  Replies (26) Good night (874) Bad night (5435)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "

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  (207): She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? " http://tfl.nu/wyfp
  Replies (10) Good night (5562) Bad night (1111)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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  (203): I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis. http://tfl.nu/m2ek
  Replies (15) Good night (6193) Bad night (965)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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  (586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3
  Replies (4) Good night (2338) Bad night (1155)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.

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  (705): Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over. http://tfl.nu/0oyy
  Replies (5) Good night (2096) Bad night (777)
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  (415): View more from California

  You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women

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  (415): You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women http://tfl.nu/rghq
  Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (493)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.

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  (647): I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/lj8p
  Replies (9) Good night (1669) Bad night (450)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning

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  (513): I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning http://tfl.nu/nen4
  Replies (0) Good night (631) Bad night (319)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.

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  (814): He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me. http://tfl.nu/md2z
  Replies (2) Good night (1280) Bad night (422)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Why did I wake up by myself then?

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  (404): Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach? (1-404): At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place. (404): Why did I wake up by myself then? http://tfl.nu/82c4
  Replies (3) Good night (1395) Bad night (395)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary

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  (985): I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary http://tfl.nu/6z7x
  Replies (4) Good night (370) Bad night (309)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone

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  (443): Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone http://tfl.nu/3q0e
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (219)

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