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Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
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