i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??