the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
accomplished twins. life is a go
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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