Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he just fucked me for my cheese.