Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
