belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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