Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
