Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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