What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I want is dick and wine.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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