You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
