Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
